Tied Together With A Smile
by Snoweylily
Summary: Tony Stark. Genius, Billionaire, Playboy, Philanthropist. Or so they say. But when a certain God Of Mischief pays him a visit and decides to kill him, Mr.Stark starts to doubt himself, his place on the team, even on what he's worth. On everything. He starts to doubt... Everything. The other Avengers can see something's wrong, but can they ever help his newfound insecurity?
1. Chapter 1

_**MY SIXTH FANFIC STORY!**_

_**Ok, well, first of all, this Story is 100% in Tony Starks Point Of View (POV**_

_**Secondly, please excuse how bad the story is, it was a bit of a long shot of an idea, but I was dying to write another Avenger Fanfic so... yea... it's not the best**_

_**And thirdly, Hope ye Enjoy :)**_

_**Rachel**_

* * *

**Chapter 1**

"Hello Stark".

I jumped at the voice, automatically reaching out for something to grab. A gun, a wrench, anything I could fight with. The only problem was I couldn't move. Literally. It was as if something... Or someone... Was after freezing me in place.

"That should hold you for now" he said, smirking as he walked into my line of sight. Loki Laufeyson. "Please, try not to speak. It won't do you any good". the god explained as my mouth opened with a smart comeback as to why the God of Lies was in my lab at 2am. But I decided to try anyway.

"You know I have an AI in here don't you? He doesn't take kindly to lunatics".

Loki frowned, "An AI?".

"Jarvis" I replied, "my Artificial Intelligence... You know, you're as far behind with technology as Thor is. Then again, brothers do share certain... Bonds... Don't you think?".

He took a step forward, glaring at me as his green eyes flashed blue, "I know what it is Stark. I'm not as stupid as Thor. I was merely pointing out that in the current situation, you'll find that... Jarvis... Is offline".

I glanced up at the nearest camera, "J?". No response. "Hey, Jarv? You there?" I asked. Nothing. Swallowing back a frightened gulp, I tried again, "Jarvis. Answer me".

"Told you" the God muttered smirking and I turned back to him, angrily trying to stand up and throw something at him, but neither my legs, nor arms, would obey me. It was as if I was rooted to my work bench. I couldn't even reach out for my Iron Man suit. Cursing loudly, I looked up at the God, "what did you do to him?".

"What did I do? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. But he won't be working again until I say so" Loki replied mischievously.

"And when will that be?" I asked and Trickster seemed to think for a moment before grinning slyly, "Only when I'v had my fun".

* * *

"Had your fun? What's th-" I started but was cut off sharply when he through me into the wall. Damn did that hurt. Coughing, I looked up as Loki walked over to me, "What the fu-".

He cut me off once more by slamming me into the wall again, "You shouldn't swear as much Stark. It's not very polite".

"Nor is destroying my paintwork" I gasped out, coughing as broken plaster fell down around me, the dust rising. L

Loki smirked before letting go of my collar and I fell to the floor as he silently walked away, "It's not is it? But how can I possibly entertain myself otherwise?".

"Ever try Sudoku?" I asked, managing to grin, "I hear it's rather... Challenging". He turned to me sharply, clicking his fingers and suddenly the spectre was in his hands, "do you know what this can do Stark?".

"Solve a Sudoku puzzle?" I guessed and he slowly walked towards me again, dragging me to my feet, "No…it is far more... Challenging".

"I knew that sentence would come back to haunt me" I managed to say before I was thrown against the door. Which would have been fine, I mean, I would have smashed through it, reducing the damage to my person. Unforcently, some genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist, decided it was a good idea to use Hulk-proof glass. So instead of being all cliché and landing in a shower of glass, I simply slammed into it with such a force that left me gasping for breath and cursing the massive headache i was going to get in the morning.

* * *

"This, , can cause you more damage than you can ever possible imagine" Loki said, watching as I slid down the glass and tried to get my bearings.

"It can all so, as so kindly proved, manipulate the mind and bring out your worst fears" he continued, bending down in front of me, "is that what you want?".

"Go to hell" I spat and he sighed, "very well. Hope you enjoy the show". A split second later, he placed the point of the spectre against my forehead and then, the world was fading... Fading so quickly... Yet seeming to drag on forever...

* * *

Bullets... Bullets and shouting... "STAY HERE" someone yelled at me and I looked around confused. I was... In Afghanistan... In the humvee... No... No, not here... Anywhere but here... I watched as the young cadet left the truck, hearing someone else shout, "Give me a gun! GIVE ME A GUN!". It was only then I realised it was me. Then I ran for it, sprinting towards the rocks on the far side of the truck, trying to ignore the soldiers, who were now dead, surrounding me. I quickly looked around for my Stark phone, pulling it out just as something landed next to me. Something that read 'Stark Industries'. Ohhh no. Not this again. The next thing I knew, i was on my back, surrounded by metal, with blood pouring from my chest.

Then the pain stared. The piercing tremors that shook through my body, the feeling of knives and cloth on my chest, the bitter smell of Chloride as they tried to drug me. The live operation. Why couldn't we skip this part? Why did I always have to go back to... Here. Being cut up like a laboratory rat. No morphine. No anaesthetic. No freedom from the endless shocks of pain. No drugs. Nothing.

The images changed quickly after that... Like a movie... Or a slide show... Each one ripping open my heart like the day they happened... Each one the same things I had the nightmares about... My father... The military... Obie... Justin Hammer... The wars... Afghanistan... The betrayals, the losses, and the pain... Always the pain... Old memory's that I had spent years, YEARS, trying to forget, came to the surface as fresh as the day they were born. The usual memory's, like Afghanistan for instance, weren't any better...

Then they were gone. Everything. No pictures. Just blankness. Emptiness. Then Loki's harsh voice cut through the blackness. "Your nothing Stark. Nothing". He was playing with me. He was filling my mind with... nothing. It was just empty. "I own you Stark" he said again, his voice filled with venom and harshness, "Your weak. Your nothing, NOTHING. You cant escape me. I own you". He was unmaking me... He was undoing everything I had done to block out the unwanted memories. I was... unmade... he was breaking me down... Slowly... Bit by bit...

Then all the pictures came back, flashing through my mind so fast that I only had just enough time to register what it was, before the next one flashed before my eyes. I couldn't take it. I couldn't stand it any more. I could faintly hear myself shouting, screaming even, just wanting it to end. I couldn't take it. I just couldn't TAKE IT. Then it was gone...

* * *

Gasping for breath, I looked up at Loki. I was lying down on my stomach, one hand wrapped around the base of his spectre, the other just in front of my head in a fist so tight it was drawing blood from my palm. Loki just smirked, stepping back and looking me up and down, "struck a nerve did it?".

"You fucking son of a bitch" I growled, forcing myself to my feet and punching him in the jaw. What I wasn't expecting was the sickening crunch as my wrist broke. He didn't even flinch.

"I made of much stronger stuff Stark than you or any other pathetic mortal is. What you just felt there, was the equivalent of punching solid gold, or possibly pure steel. Not a very wise decision" he said calmly as I bit back a cry, clutching my left hand. Bastard. Taking deep breaths, I leant back against the door, looking up at him angrily, "why me?".

"Why you? You honestly don't know why I picked YOU?" The god asked and I nodded slowly, "you've already got five others to pick on in this building. Many of whom would provide a better fight. So why me?".

"Because your weak" he hissed, putting his hand on my neck and slowly squeezing, "your weak. Your pathetic. Your VULNERABLE". Ok, that hurt. That really hurt. Seriously, it felt like I'd been punched in the stomach.

"Your insecure Stark. Your easy to manipulate. You've got nothing. No super strength. No assassin skills. No spy skills. No magical control of thunder. You don't even have a split personality. Your NOTHING" he hissed, squeezing my throat tighter and tighter until i couldn't breathe and black dots formed in front of my eyes. Then he let go, and I collapsed onto the ground.

"At least... I'm not... A crazy bastard... With family issues" I choked out and he kicked me, really hard, in the stomach. And we both heard the definite snap as he broke some ribs.

"Oh but you do have family issues don't you Stark?" Loki asked dangerously, "your own father hated you".

* * *

"Still not... As much as... Odin hated you" I shot back, trying my hardest to breathe as he kicked me again, breaking another two or three ribs. If I wasn't careful, they'd pierce through my lungs. Then I really wouldn't be able to breathe. I'd be dead. But it was a nice enough thought in the current situation.

"And not to mind the fact your father didn't love you. He didn't even like you. Your DAD, HATED you! He thought you were a waste of space. A pest. Something that wasn't with looking at" Loki continued, laughing at me, "and then there was Obiah Stane. Remember him? He betrayed you as well. You TRUSTED him, and he BROKE it. Because he hated you as well. Don't you get the message? No one loves you. No one even LIKES you. Your nothing. Just a waste of space".

I had no reply to that. He was telling the truth. That's all I knew. I WAS weak. I WAS vulnerable. I WAS worthless. Even Pepper couldn't stand me sometimes. I was pathetic.

* * *

"So, come on then. What has the great Tony Stark got to say to that?" Loki sneered, laughing as I stared at him with empty eyes. Empty... Just empty...

"Will you kill me all ready?" I asked quietly and he smirked, "what was that?".

"I'm done Loki. I'm done, ok? You've had your fun. You've completely destroyed me. Isn't that what you want?" I asked again, my voice barely a whisper as I slowly sat up.

"Well well well. Tony Stark giving up once and for all" Loki said grinning, "but I haven't had my fun yet".

I glanced up at him, "you've brought back the... Memories... You've broken my wrist. You've thrown me into three walls. And most likely broken my whole rib cage. What else can you do?".

"Many things Stark. Many things" he replied, bending down to me, "The fun's only just beginning".

* * *

He hit me... I don't know how many times... Just punching me over and over again... The kicks were just as merciless... I lost count after the first dozen... The whole time reminding me how weak I had become... How I was hated by even my own father... How in was just a complete mess... Yet he kept me alive. Kept me on the brink of blacking out. Kept me on that very fine line between being alive, and being unconscious. I just curled up into a ball, bringing my knees up tight to my chest, burying my face in them, and putting my hands over my head protectively. Not that it did me any good. It was times like these that I wished I hadn't made the lab sound proof. It would have been so much easier for the others to rush down if they heard me scream. But I refused to give in, refuses to cry, refuses to do anything but be a man and take it in front of the God. And eventually, he stopped.

"Jarvis, I believe your inventor needs help" Loki said calmly, dragging me along the floor to behind my desk, and a second later, I heard a beep and the AI's smooth voice cut through the room, "Sir is on his way".

Where the hell was J when I needed him earlier on?

"Until next time Stark" Loki said smirking, before it quickly fell as there was a loud bang. I didn't even have the energy to look up as Loki's head snapped to the door, slowly backing away.

"That was quick" he muttered, as the door slid open. "YOU FUCKING BASTARD" someone yelled. Hey that was... That was Clint wasn't it? A long series of angry Russian confirmed it.

"Now now, no need to be rude" Loki said grinning, before ducking as an arrow went over his head, "Or shoot me. That's not the most polite either".

"I don't give a damn what you think. You mess with one of us. You deal with all of us" he growled.

The god just smirked, "then I believe iv outgrown my stay".

A second later, he had disappeared in a green light. "Stark?" Someone asked before catching sight of me behind the desk, "Tony...". That would be my favourite archer. I heard a few cautious steps before someone rushed over to me, "TONY!". Yep, definitely my Legolas.

* * *

"Jarvis, Get help, NOW!" he shouted and I winced as he gently pulled away my hands, uncurling me from my protective ball. I just wanted to be left alone, I didn't want any more pain, was that too much to ask for?

"BRUCE" he yelled, before turning back to me, "hey, it's all right buddy, we'll get you out of here". Then I head the door slide open.

"You better have a good reason to have woken me at 4am Barton" someone growled… That was Natasha. Ok, so the two super spies/assassins were here. Clint looked up at her, the terror in his eyes, and she froze, "Clint?".

He looked back down at me and I grinned slightly, "Your… f-finally lost… f-for w-words".

"Is that…Is that Stark?" Natasha asked walking over. She froze when she caught sight of me, "S-Stark?".

"Loki was with him, did a disappearing act, I don't know how long he was here" Barton rushed out, "Jarvis woke me, said Tony was practically dead, so I ran down and saw the bastard beat the shit of him".

"I'll get… I'll get Bruce" she stammered, running back up the stairs.

Clint slowly moved me over, and put my head in his lap, "Your ok man. Just hang on in there ok? Your going to be all right… Can you even hear me?".

"S-sort of" I choked out and he laughing softly, "you're going be fine Stark. Just don't decide to die alright?".

Then there was the distinct click of the door being opened and a pair of footsteps ran over. "Jesus Christ" someone muttered, bending down next to me, "Stark? Hey, Tony?". And here was my awesome science bro.

* * *

"No" Bruce ordered, "Don't move him. I don't know what's hurt".

"Bruce we've got to do something" Clint argued and the doctor sighed, looking back down at me, "Ok, Tony? I need you to tell me what happened".

"L-Loki" I whispered as he started prodding me softly.

"Ok, that's a good start. Stay talking Tony, you're not allowed to sleep on us ok?" He asked and I nodded, wincing as it send pain shooting through my neck. Bastard god almost choked me.

"Good. Anything else?" He asked, looking up as I whimpered softly when he picked up my hand, "Wrist?".

I nodded and he swore. And Bruce simply does not swear... Unless things were really bad.

"Wrist? What does 'Wrist' mean?" Barton asked frantically.

"Broken. His wrist is broken. Very badly at that... And his leg..." Bruce replied, "Tell me Tony, why didn't you call for someone sooner?".

"Jarvis... H-He broke" I trailed off, not having the strength to continue. Thankfully, Banner got what I meant, "he broke Jarvis. Course he did. Ok, now Tony, how many fingers am I holding up?".

I stared at his hand for a long while. I was seeing double. Then triple. Then double again. Then it was going hazy. "I...I d-don't... I c-cant..." I stammered frustrated.

"It's ok Tony, calm down... This is bad. This is very bad" Bruce muttered, lowering his hand and turning to Clint, who was clutching his bow with more strength than needed, "Barton... BARTON".

"Oh, wait, what?" Clint asked and I smirked slightly as Bruce sighed, "come on, we have to move him. Natasha, find something to brace his leg" the doctor ordered.

Oh yea, Natasha. I'd forgotten she was there. She just seemed to be aimlessly pacing the floor. Wait, did he say to brace my leg? Didn't that mean it was b- a piercing pain shook through my body and against my better judgement, I involuntarily yelped.

* * *

"Shhh, Tony, calm down, it's ok, you're going to be fine" Bruce said softly as he and Clint slowly turned me onto my back. My other side was worse. It was the side with the horribly broken ribs. And Bruce, once again, swore rather skill-fully. I'd have to ask him about that if I got out of this thing alive.

"Ok. Maths. You're the best at maths here Tony. Four... No, five. Five broken ribs... And at least another half-dozen cracked. Add that up for me will ya? What's the verdict?" Bruce asked and I smirked, "One... O-one very l-l-large hospital b-bill".

He smiled slightly, "that, is positive. Nat, how long will they be?".

"One joyful, big, happy, lovely little ambulance, on its way" she replied sarcastically, "I'd give them... 3 minutes at least, 5 tops".

Bruce sighed and looked downs at me again, "we're going to take you to hospital ok?".

"N-no" I stammered, "No h-hospitalsss".

"Stark" he warned but I shook my head and fuck did that hurt, "N-n-no hospitals".

He sighed and looked up at Natasha who made another quick call before turning back, "SHIELD doctors can be hear in 9 minutes".

"You can hold out that long?" Bruce asked me.

"I c-can... Try" I replied, but I knew I was lying to myself. And Barton, being the observant idiot he is, knew this as well.

"Stark... TONY" he warned, "NO".

"Yousss c-cant stops it L-Legolas" I replied grinning, my words slurred and my vision blackening out.

* * *

"NO Tony. Eyes. Open. Now" Bruce ordered but I barely heard him.

I had too many things running though my mind, in too much pain to be able to think straight, and just really, really, really fucking tired. So, ignoring the three Avengers shouting, and the sudden bang as the SHIELD doctors came pouring in with stretchers and first aid kits, I slowly closed my eyes, welcoming the blackness that took over.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Water… So, so much water… They were drowning me… I was going to die… And then… Just as I was slipping unconscious… they pulled me out… out of the bucket of water… out of my only chance of dieing… my only way out of here.

"The missile's Stark" Raza ordered, "The Jericho missile".

"I'm… I'm w-workin… as f-f-fast as… I can… If y-you ju-"I gasped out, before they pushed my head under again.

I was screaming into the dark blue water, trying to breathe. But I couldn't. I never could. I was even debating whether or not to just let go… to give up breathing… to drown… when the Ten Rings men pulled me up again. Gasping for breath, I shook my head, trying my hardest to get rid of the water. But I couldn't. My chest was burnt, scarred, from water getting into the car battery, literally electrocuting me from the inside out. But I couldn't get rid of the water.

"The missiles Stark" Raza said again, grinning evilly at me, "Until they get built, you're stuck here. You WANT to go home don't you?"

I actually had to think about that. But before I could answer, before I could even get ONE, SINGLE BREATH, i was pushed into the bucket again. I didn't even hold my breath this time. I just relaxed, hoping I would at least black out… But it never came… Instead, I heard the loud shouts of the terriosts.

"He's not breathing". Of course I wasn't breathing. You pushed my head under water, what did you expect?

"Pulse is slowing". Maybe I would black out then.

"Stark… Stark? Breathe you fucking bastard" Raze asked, grabbing a handful of hair and pulling me up. I just spat the water in my mouth at him.

Cursing loudly, he shoved my head under once more, kicking me in the stomach. My shout was muffled by the water… so, so much water… they were going to kill me… I was going to me… I wasn't breathing… At all… Just water… so, so, so much water… swirling around me… as I tried to scream… tried to shout… tried to do anything… but I couldn't… because I was surrounded by water… 30 seconds passed… then a minute… I could hold my breath for two… then 1:30… then 1 minute and 50 seconds… I was blacking out… I was shutting down… I was losing control… I was letting go... I was drowning.

* * *

I woke with a start, bolting upright, gasping for breath, only to find that I was in… In the Avengers Tower it think… not in Afghanistan… Not in the cave… Not with the Ten Rings.

"Shhh, you're ok, everything's fine" someone whispered softly, putting their hand across my shoulder and gently pushing me back down into the pillows. What?

"Tony, relax, its ok, it's just me" Clint said quietly. Ok, it was just Clint… Just my brainless feathers… Why was he here again?

"What do you remember?" he asked quietly, his eyes searching my face. Dark bluey-green eyes. What do you remember…? What happened…? Why was he here… Loki.

"Stark? Hey, Tony, you ok?" he asked again, and I slowly nodded, wincing as it sent a stab of pain along my neck. Now that I think about it, everywhere hurts. My legs… my arms… my chest… everything.

"L-Loki" I stammered and Barton nodded slowly, "Bastard beat you up. Badly". Beat me up… That was one word for it…

* * *

"W-where… Where a-am i?" I asked, my voice rough and Clint sighed, sitting back in his chair next to the bed, "Currently, you're in… well, a hospital really… Sort of. SHIELD converted one of the bedrooms here in the tower to a hospital room… Much against Fury dislikes".

I smiled slightly, "He v-visited?"

"Oh yea, he came all right" Clint said, slight anger in his voice, "wanted to know why you were unconscious, covered in blood, and barely breathing, and NOT in a hospital".

"W-what chu t-tell him?" I asked and he grinned at that, "told him the same thing you would. To fuck off. It was Loki's fault. And you didn't want complete strangers swarming around the place as doctors".

"You know me t-too well" I replied and he smiled slightly, "Bruce almost turned to the other guy he was so mad. Eyes went completely green. Once the SHIELD doctors took over he practically ran out".

"…Why was he angry?".

Clint looked at me like I was mad, "Why dya think? You were hardly breathing, completely destroyed, and the bastard who did it walked away without a scratch. No one's exactly happy that you're beaten up".

"Bruce got angry because he… was worrying about me?"

"We all got angry cause we worrying about you".

I frowned. That wasn't right. Why were they worrying about me? I wasn't worth the effort. Why did they actually care about me? Loki had said it himself. Weak. Pathetic excuse of an Avenger. Not even worth enough to look at. So why did they seem to… care…?

* * *

"You remember everything?" Hawkeye asked quietly and I thought back to… to when? How long had I been here? How long had I been out for?

"Yea" I whispered and Clint nodded thoughtfully, "Then mind explaining why Loki was in your lab at 4am?".

"3am" I corrected.

"What?"

"It was 3am. That's when he decided to pay a visit" I explained.

"We found you at 4… he was hitting you for a full hour?" Clint asked, his hands curling into fists at his side, "Fucking… bastard".

"3am. I was working one minute. The next he was standing in front of me" I continued, "Then he decided to throw me into the wall… Twice… And then at the door. Bloody glass is Hulk-proof even so it didn't smash. And then he…" I trailed off, thinking back to the scepter. The nightmares… the flashbacks… the panic attacks…

* * *

"Then he what?" Clint asked and I looked away. Afghanistan… The Ten Rings... My father… Obadiah Stane… The pain… The betrayal. The endless nights I lay awake, too scared to close my eyes in case I saw them…

"Tony. Come on. Tell me" Barton said softly and I closed my eyes, avoiding his intense gaze,

"He… he did the same to me… as he did to you" I whispered, my voice breaking and I could hear the strain on the chair as he gripped onto it.

"He did what?" Barton hissed and I opened my eyed again, looking back to him. He looked like he could murder the next person to walk through that door.

"He fucked up my mind Clint" I replied quietly, "He just… Fucked it up".

"I'll kill him" the archer said firmly, standing up, "I'll fucking kill him".

"That's what he wants Clint. Don't do it" I said as he headed for the door.

His hand froze on the door knob, and slowly he rested his head on the door, "I swore to myself… I promised myself" he whispered, "That I wouldn't let that happen again".

* * *

"…If it helps, once I got my thoughts together, I punched him" I said and he smirked, turning slightly to me, "You punched him?".

"Yep. Really hard. In the jaw. And called him a son of a bitch. How do think I broke my wrist?" I replied grinning and he laughed quietly, "I was wondering about that".

"So… no killing mad gods then" I ordered and he sighed, slowly walking back to me and sitting down.

"It was… bad… When he took over my mind" Barton said quietly looking down at his hands, "I vowed that I would never let him touch anyone, ANYONE, ever again".

"It wasn't your fault Clint" I whispered, "He's long gone. I'm still here".

"Well what's left of you" he replied grimly.

"But still a part of me. That's what matters".

"Yea, a part of your body. What about your mind?" he muttered, "It's been a year since the Manhattan attack. I'm still not 100%... over it".

"My mind…" I trailed off and he glanced up at me expectantly.

"My mind can take care of itself".

He gave an abrupt laugh, "That's what I told myself as well".

"Well then you'll know what it's like right now" I whispered and he stared at me, concern and worry spreading across his face, "Empty".

I nodded, "Empty".

* * *

"I better tell the others you're all right" Clint announced suddenly, standing up and walking over to the door.

"Don't… Don't tell them…that…" I said, "Not what I told you".

"Tony, they have to know" he said firmly, turning back to me, "And if you weren't going to tell the others, why did you tell me?"

"Because" I whispered, looking down, my voice barely audible and breaking on that single word, "because you know what it's like".

* * *

Within the hour, the whole team was in the room, including Thor, who was looking between being ashamed, and… heart-broken. Guess he didn't think Loki was capable of almost killing me. Poor guy still loved his brother. Of course the only doctor in the team had to ruin it by listing out every tiny little thing wrong with me. "Broken wrist, two broken fingers, all on your left hand. Dislocated knee, your right leg. Five broken ribs, seven cracked ribs, both sides. Broken collar bone, your right si-"Bruce continued but I cut him off, "Banner. Cool it". He sighed, rubbing his eyes tiredly before putting down the clip board.

"There, was that so hard?" I asked grinning, "Cause I honestly don't care what's broken or cracked. I can't feel a thing"

"Stark. You've been out for two days. You have so many drugs in your system; you won't feel anything, for a week. And when that week is up, try and tell me you don't care then" he replied, falling down into one of the chairs. Clint had resumed his old chair next to me and every so often, he would shoot me a 'Look'. You know the look that your best friend gives you when you admit a crazy physcopath played with your mind for an hour? Yea, that look. Then there was Natasha, as lovely as ever, who sat, legs crossed, at the end of my bed. Capcicle sat on another chair and Thor hovered uneasily by the door.

"A week?" I asked, "Is that a dare?".

He sighed again, while Clint smirked, and the others rolled their eyes. "No Tony. That is NOT a dare" he replied and I pouted, "But it would have been such a fun dare… Barton?".

"Yea?" Clint asked looking up and I grinned, "Do YOU dare me?".

He smiled slightly, "No Stark, not this time".

"Aw your all so boringgg" I whined, "Honestly, ye guys got to cheer up a bit".

"You almost died Stark. This is no time for cheering" Steve said and I sighed, "Guys, I'm fine. I'm beaten up. But I'm fine".

Clint opened his mouth to object, most likely to mention the fucked up mind part but I pointed my finger at him before he could speak, "Barton, no. NO. Just no".

* * *

"No what?" Natasha asked slowly and I glared at Clint, "See what happens when we do this" I said before pointing at the other spy, "You. Do not need to know. AT ALL. None of your concern".

"Sta-"Clint started but I cut him off, "No".

He tried again, "Ton-". "Barton" I warned.

"If you ju-"he attempted and for the third time, I cut him off, "Clint. NO WAY".

"You just go-". "Not listening".

"If you don't te-". "Shhh".

"Stark, I'm war-". "And I'm not listening".

"I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU DO-". "Shut. Up".

"GUYS" Steve barked and we both turned to find the rest of them staring at us confused. "What's this about?" he asked, Captain America's voice taking over.

I sighed, shooting a glare at Clint, "Feathers and I had a little… disagreement"- Clint scoffed at that but I ignored him- "It is nothing for ye to worry about".

"So why is Barton so set on telling us?" Natasha asked.

I sighed again, "Because, Legolas over here, thinks it's for the best. I don't. Because ye don't need to know. It's my own little secret. So I'm not going to tell you. And neither is birdbrain".

"You can't stop me Stark" Clint replied and I grinned, "Actually, I can. Besides for the fact that you promised not to breathe a word to ANYONE, and yes that includes Natasha, I'm the only one who can fix you're… Arrow… orders".

"You're bribing me with new arrows?" Barton asked amazed and I smirked, "10, sleeker design, explosive tips".

"100" Barton argued.

"20" I replied.

"90"

"40. Final offer".

"50".

"Deal" I said, shaking his hand and he smirked, "Nice doing business with you".

The others stared at us confused. "Wait, wait, and wait. You" Bruce started, point at me, "Have a deep, dark secret that only Clint knows about. And you" he continued, turning to Barton, "Refuse to tell us, if Tony makes you 50 explosive arrows?" We both nodded and Banner thought for a moment, "My guess is that this… secret… is about Loki".

"It is" Clint confirmed and I turned to him, "We had a deal Barton".

"We did. And we still do" he replied, "But you just don't want them to know the facts. You never said I couldn't tell them who it was about".

"That's plain evil Legolas… I'm proud" I replied grinning, turning back to Bruce, "Yes. It involves the God of Lies".

* * *

The doctor stared at me for a moment, seeming to think of something, before standing up, "Everyone, out. He needs to rest".

"Aw, come on Brucey, a little while longer" I pleaded but he shook his head, "Thor, Steve and Natasha out, you, me and Clint, got to have a little talk".

The other three stared at us confused. "A little talk?" Natasha questioned and Bruce seemed to debate for a moment before whispering something to her. She visibly froze up, shaking her head and saying something to Bruce. He replied, still too quiet for us to hear, before she glanced over at Barton and I… and Clint's obvious protective stance over me. "Give me the answer later yea?" she asked, patting Bruce on the back and he nodded before she led the other two confused Avengers out the door. Clint looked at me weirdly, and I was just as confused, as Banner brought a chair over next to me and slowly sat down.

"Doc?" I asked quietly.

He looked up at me, "I know what he did".


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I stared at him blankly. He knew? How did he know? I turned to Clint, who shrugged, before looking back at Bruce. He sighed, taking his glasses off and wiping them with a cloth, "I know Tony. And so does Clint. And Natasha has a fair idea".

"Know… what exactly you are… What's happening here?" I asked and he smiled slightly, "Loki played with your mind".

* * *

-Bullets... Bullets and shouting... "STAY HERE" someone yelled at me and I looked around confused. I was... In Afghanistan... In the Humvee... No... No, not here... Anywhere but he-.

No. I was NOT having another flashback. I was NOT in Afghanistan. And I was NOT about to get mixed up with a bomb. Blinking a few times, I turned back to Bruce, "…What makes you think that?"

"Tony, look around" he replied, "You admitted that something happened between you and Loki. It was Clint you choose to tell out of everyone, and since we got here, he looks like he'll kill anyone who gets within 2 feet of you. And just now you were thinking back to when it happened, your eyes glaze over".

I looked over at Barton who nodded slowly, "Might as well come clean".

"Traitor" I muttered and he smirked, "I told you they'd all find out".

I sighed, turning back to the doctor, "Yes Loki fucked up my mind".

* * *

"Right. That's a start. And we all have to start somewhere" he replied and I smiled, "You sound like one of those guys who help alcoholics. 'Together we can help' and all that".

He laughed softly, "I always preferred physiologists to doctors".

I laid back against the headboard, Clint on my left, and Bruce on my right. No way to escape. No way to get out of the horrible conversation that was coming. Not that I could walk anyway…

* * *

"If you're waiting for me to start screaming and run through the door, you're gonna be waiting a while" I said after a long silence.

"I'm just wondering when you're going to have a mental breakdown and burst out crying" Clint teased and I smiled slightly, "Still might come Barton, it still might come. What about you Brucey? What you thinking of?"

Banner looked up at me, "I'm just wondering what Loki actually did to you". My smile fell at that.

-re... I watched as the young cadet left the truck, hearing someone else shout, "Give me a gun! GIVE ME A GUN!". It was only then I realised it was me. Then I ran fo-

Snap out of it Stark. Angrily, I shook my head. I was NOT going to go back to that.

"And there we are" Bruce said quietly, "another flashback. What I want to know, it what's it of".

"It's… It's just something that happened a long time ago" I replied through gritted teeth, "Something that I try my hardest to forget".

"No one can help Tony if you don't let them" Clint muttered, "I learned that the hard way".

I looked up at him, patting his hand, "Your fine. Bruceys fine. And The other guys fine. Everybody's fine".

"But not you" he replied and I frowned.

-r it, sprinting towards the rocks on the far side of the truck, trying to ignore the soldiers, who were now dead, surrounding me. I quickly looked around for my Stark phone, pulling it out ju-

No. Get a grip. Stupid god fucked up your mind Stark. It's all a game. A very convincing one. But it was ALL A FUCKING GAME.

* * *

"No. I'm not fine am i?" I asked my voice barely audible and Bruce sighed. He was doing that a lot recently.

"No. You're not. Your minds messed up. You think things that are not true. And you're having flashbacks" he replied.

"PTSD" I corrected and they both looked at me surprised. I just shrugged, "If we're going clean and all that. And since ye want the truth. I might as well tell you a little about myself. Now where to start… Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder… Narcissism... Unpredictable… Aqua phobia… Emotionless… Slightly physcotic… Temperamental… Trust issues… Anger issues… the list goes on and on and on".

"… None of that is in your file" Clint said quietly and I gave a short laugh, "My file? I change that everyday"

"How is that actually possible?" he asked again and I shrugged, "I got bored one day, so I hacked into SHIELD's database, gave Jarvis all the codes, and now I've changed everything".

"All because you have a few tiny faults" Bruce muttered.

-st as something landed next to me. Something that read 'Stark Industries'. Ohhh no. Not this again. The next thing I knew, i was on my back, surrounded by metal, with blood pouring from my chest-

"Faults?" I asked, snapping myself out of it, "FAULTS? There not faults Bruce. There annoying, fucking, blasted, bad qualities. And once someone finds out about them, they treat you differently. They treat you like your stupid. Like you're less than them. Do you know how fucking FRUSTRATING that is? For some bastard to think your dumb when your IQ's rivalling Albert Einstein's? It's worse than you could ever possibly imagine. It's horrible. They treat you, like you're a FUCKING TWO YEAR OLD. So yes. I hacked into top secret government files and changed a few things so I didn't look as weak. So I didn't seem as pathetic when compared to everyone else. So I don't look as vulnerable when put next to a bunch of FUCKING SUPERHERO'S. I got sick and tired of everyone pretending I'm the same when I'm not. I'm the techie. I'm the guy with the fucking suit. Take that away, then what? Nothing. You're left with nothing. Just... Nothing".

* * *

"So, that's what he told you then" Bruce said quietly, not at all fazed by my sudden outburst, "That's what Loki made you think".

I just sighed, frustrated and angry at myself for letting everything slip, and leant back against the headboard, closing my eyes and just wishing that this was all a dream. But there were no shooting stars. There was nothing. So I opened my eyes again, still faced with a shocked archer, and a demanding doctor.

"Well Tony, is it?" Bruce asked a slight harsh edge to his voice, "Is that what that… Bastard did to you?" And Bruce simply does not curse. At all. Never. So right now, he was getting rather green. Whether at me or Loki, I wasn't sure. But I had a feeling his anger was pointing to the guy with antlers.

I nodded slightly and he sighed, putting his head is his hands and cursing in Portuguese.

"…I'm completely lost here" Clint muttered and Banner looked back up at him sharply, "What did Loki tell you? When he got inside your head?"

Clint tensed up a little but answered anyway. "He… He just said we were going to rule the world. That all power would be ours. That he would king" he replied rolling his eyes.

"Ok, and at the time, they were good thoughts weren't they? They made you happy, to think of such brilliance and wealth and amazing things. At the time, you loved them" Bruce said and Barton nodded, "At the time… he made me think it couldn't get much better than that. So yea, at the time, they were brilliant thoughts".

"And you remember what all those happy things did to you when you snapped out of it? How such positive, brilliant, things could mess up your head?" Bruce asked and Clint nodded.

The doctor glanced over at me, "Well imagine how messed up you'd be now if they were the complete opposite".

* * *

Clint looked between me, then Bruce, then me again, confused, "I still don't get it".

"The opposite Clint, the complete opposite. That's what Loki did to him" Banner replied quietly, and both pair of eyes landed on me. I just continued to stare at my hands, not wanting this to go any further.

"What Loki did to Tony, was the same thing he did to you a year ago, only he reversed the thoughts. Instead of the perfectly perfect things that ran through your mind it was the opposite that ran through Tony's. He got every single tiny little bad thing, and blew it up so it occupied his whole mind. Afghanistan, for instance. He made Tony go back to his worst nightmares. To believe that he just wasn't worth it. That he was useless, vulnerable, pathetic even" Bruce explained, staring into my dull eyes, "I'm right aren't I Tony?".


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

"Yea" I replied, my voice barley a whisper, and they both stared at me, a mixture between sorrow and... Anger? Shock? Surprise even?

"He... He had the scepter" I said slowly, my mind flashing back to Loki's sly grin as he pinned me down.

* * *

-Then the pain stared. The piercing tremors that shook through my body, the feeling of knives and cloth on my chest, the bitter smell of Chloride as they tri-

* * *

"Then... They... Started" I continued.

* * *

-ed to drug me. The live operation. Why couldn't we skip this part? Why did I always have to go back to... Here. Being cut up like a labora-

* * *

"They?" Bruce asked and I nodded, "... The images".

* * *

-tory rat. No morphine. No anaesthetic. No freedom from the endless shocks of pain. No drugs. Noth-

* * *

"He used everything... Everything... Against me" I continued.

* * *

-ing. The images changed quickly after that... Like a movie... Or a slide show... Each one ripping open my heart like the day they happened... Each one the same things I had the nightma-

* * *

"Afghanistan... Obie... Even my own father"

* * *

-res about... My father... The military... Obie... Justin Hammer... The wars... Afghanistan... The betrayals, the losses, and the pa-

* * *

"They were easy at first. Just small things"

* * *

-in... Always the pain... Old memory's that I had spent years, YEARS, trying to forget, came to the surface as fresh as the day they wer-

* * *

"Then they started to get worse... Much, much worse..."

* * *

-e born. The usual memories, like Afghanistan for instance, weren't any better... And then, finally, it was over-

* * *

"Then they were gone... And in their place was..."

* * *

-Because you're weak. You're weak. You're pathetic. You're VULNERABLE". You're insecure Stark. You're easy to manip-

* * *

"Him" I whispered, "Loki... He spoke"

* * *

-ulate. You've got nothing. No super strength. No assassin skills. No spy skills. No magical control of thunder. You don't even have a spli-

* * *

"Said things... Horrible things... Then he was gone as well"

* * *

-t personality. Your NOTHING. Then there was Obadiah Stane. Remember him? He betrayed youas well. You TRUS-

* * *

"And then there was... Emptiness... Blackness... The feeling of utter terror..."

* * *

-TED him, and he BROKE it. Because he hated you as well. Don't you get the message? No one loves you. No one even LIKES yo-

* * *

"Then pictures... Just pictures... Flashing through my mind at... Unimaginable speeds... But always the same ones".

* * *

-u. You're nothing. Just a waste of space. And not to mind the fact your father didn't love you. He didn't even like you. You're DAD, HAT-

* * *

"Then everything froze... And there was blankness... Empty... The feeling when you know you're about to die... Cold... Harsh... Torture... Your worst nightmare..."

* * *

-ED you! He thought you were a waste of space. A pest. Something that wasn't with looking at-

* * *

"The next thing I knew... I was on the ground... Loki standing above me... And then... then he left..." I whispered, still staring with unseeing eyes. All that was going through my mind was the same pictures... The horrible, tortuous pictures...

"Nat will have told the other two by now" Bruce said quietly, "they'll want an answer".

I smiled weakly, "well you know my life's confessions... And so does Clint... My deep dark secret... Wouldn't do much harm I guess".

"That's a yes then?" He asked and I nodded, "Can't think of anything else".

He slowly stood up, patting me twice on the shoulder before disappearing through the door.

"That bad huh?" Clint muttered and I smirked slightly; "that bad... Sorry I made you break your promise".

"That's the least of your concerns" he replied sighing, "but thanks anyway".

* * *

"...How did you do it?" He asked suddenly after a few minutes and I turned to him confused, "Do what?".

"Be able to stay so... Calm... When the others were here. I wouldn't have suspected a thing if you didn't tell me" he replied truthfully.

I thought about his question for a moment... How DID i stay so calm? "I guess I just pretended everything was alright. Tried not to think for once" I admitted, "what about you? How did you cope?".

He looked up at the ceiling, seeming to think for a minute before turning back to me, "I guess I didn't. Not truly anyway. But I got through it. That's all that mattered to me".

* * *

There was a soft knock on the door and i grinned, "Think we should let them in?".

Clint smirked in response, "I don't know... You got any other doors in here?".

"No... But i got an escape tunnel" I replied and he laughed, "I'll hold the door; you get out of here then send a rescue mission when I'm captured".

I laughed as well, softly, before looking back at the door, "think you could... Maybe... Possibly... Tell then th-".

"Go for it" he replied smirking, putting another blanket over me.

I grinned at him, "Your awesome man, thanks". And with that, I shut my eyes, letting my head fall to the side, evening out my breathing until it was like i fell asleep.

"And no snoring" Clint warned and i opened one eye, grinning, "No promises", before i went back to 'sleep'. I heard him get up, walking over to the door, exaggerating the whole be-quiet-he's-sleeping thing, before silently opening the door.

* * *

"Where's Tony?" Someone asked. Natasha. Defiantly Natasha. And she only called me by my first name if she was either very worried, or... Well... Only when she was really worried.

"He's asleep" Clint whispered, and I mentally made a note to thank him for keeping a straight face later on. I felt all eyes glance over to me and gave a soft snore to confirm it. Clint was going to kill me for her later.

"You staying here?" She asked quietly.

"Yep" he replied.

"Well... Tell me when he wakes up... We all need to have a talk" she continued, "I'm guessing you knew all along?".

"Yep" he replied again and she sighed, "I'm going to fucking kill that bastard of a god the next time we see him".

"Get in line" Barton muttered harshly.

"He'll be alright Clint. He's been through more shit than a normal man could even imagine, and pulled out the other side. He's a fighter". Aw, was that Natasha actually carrying bout me? Never knew she could be so sentimental.

"Unless you want to stay, I'll let you know when he wakes up" my favourite feathers replied and she sighed again, "later then".

"See ya Tash" Clint muttered before I heard footsteps, a door closing, then softer footsteps.

* * *

"Alright, she's gone. You can wake up now" he laughed and I sighed, sitting up again, "that has got to be the most boring conversation I have ever heard when pretending to be asleep".

He laughed again, taking his seat next to me, "well, I did try".

"And I am very grateful, thank you Legolas, for assisting me, in my escape, of a conversation, I currently, really, do not, need" I replied smirking, "for that, I'll give you 10 extra arrows".

"Then we should do this more often" he replied grinning.

"Are you implying you want a Russian assassin turned American Spy watching us every few minutes?".

"... Ok I admit, not the best of ideas".

"Well since you're being so awesome today... Any chance of a whiskey?" I asked and he smirked, "Not. A. Chance"


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

"Your worthless" he whispered, "Worthless". "Your weak" he said again, "Vulnerable". No… No, this was not happening. This was all a game… just all a game… He wasn't here… He couldn't be here… This was all just a dream…

"It's not a dream Stark… I got inside your head once… I can do it again".

"No" I muttered, "NO..."

"Accept it Stark, you're done. You can't fight against me" he hissed.

"NO" I said, louder this time, "You're not… you… you CAN" I replied angrily, thrashing around.

"I already have. You're too weak to fight back" he snapped and I shook my head, "No… I can… I will".

"YOUR WEAK" he shouted and I whimpered, "I'm not… I'm… You're… This is... th-".

"SILENCE" he yelled, cutting me off, "You WILL learn your place Stark. I am in control of your mind. And I always will be".

"No. NO. You're not… You never will be…" I whispered and he growled.

He actually growled at me, "You'll never escape. You're too vulnerable. You're not even worth the effort" he snapped.

"Then why are you doing this to me? Why me?" I asked, my voice breaking, "Why? Why me?".

"I thought I had already explained that" he sneered, "You're pathetic. You're sad. You're the easiest to control".

"No… I will fight back… Your can't stop me" I muttered and he laughed. An evil, dark, menacing laugh, "You think your strong don't you? Well let's do a little memory recap shall we?"

A split second later he laughed again, more of a chuckle, a dangerous sound, and then… then pictures…

* * *

-Water… So, so much water… They were drowning me… I was going to die… And then… Just as I was slipping unconscious… they pulled me out… out of the bucket of water… out of my only chance of dieing… my on-

* * *

"You're already falling for it" he said, and I could picture the smirk on his face.

* * *

-ly way out of here. "The missile's Stark" Raza ordered, "The Jericho missile". "I'm… I'm w-workin… as f-f-fast as… I can… If y-you ju-"I gasped out, before they pushed my head under again. I was screaming into the dark blue wat-

* * *

"What do you think Stark? Still believe you fight against me?" he asked.

* * *

-er, trying to breathe. But I couldn't. I never could. I was even debating whether or not to just let go… to give up breathing… to drown… when the Ten Rings men pulled me up again. Gasping for breath, I shook my head, trying my har-

* * *

"Such beautiful memories you have isn't it? Ones of utter terror and pain, so easy to manipulate".

* * *

-dest to get rid of the water. But I couldn't. My chest was burnt, scarred, from water getting into the car battery, literally electrocuting me from the inside out. But I couldn't get rid of the water. "The missil-

* * *

"Just think of what the others will think of you. Breakdowns. Flashbacks. They'll think your gone crazy. Not that they would actually care".

* * *

-es Stark" Raza said again, grinning evilly at me, "Until they get built, you're stuck here. You WANT to go home don't you?" I actually had to think about that. But before I could answer, before I could even get ONE, SIN-

* * *

"I believe they'll disown you. Treat you like your nothing but an idiot. A complete moran. Then what?" he hissed.

* * *

-GLE BREATH, i was pushed into the bucket again. I didn't even hold my breath this time. I just relaxed, hoping I would at least black out… But it never came… Instead, I heard the loud shouts of the terriosts. "He's n-

* * *

"You're going to be pushed away. Pushed away like an old toy. Worthless. They wouldn't care. They won't even care if you were to die"

* * *

-ot breathing". Of course I wasn't breathing. You pushed my head under water, what did you expect? "Pulse is slowing". Maybe I would black out then. "Stark… Stark? Breathe you fucking bastard" Raze as-

* * *

"And trust me Stark; I do plan on killing you. I plan on making it very painful when I kill you" he said harshly.

* * *

-ked, grabbing a handful of hair and pulling me up. I just spat the water in my mouth at him. Cursing loudly, he shoved my head under once more, kicking me in the stomach. My shout was muffled by the water… so, so m-

* * *

"A slow painful death. You think now is bad? Wait until i next pay you a visit. Then you'll know what pain is like. Or maybe I won't. Maybe I'll just kill you now" he hissed

* * *

-uch water… they were going to kill me… I was going to me… I wasn't breathing… At all… Just water… so, so, so much water… swirling around me… as I tried to scream… tried to shout… tried to do anything… but I co-

* * *

"No" I muttered, "NO, NO, NO". "Accept it Stark. Your. As. Good. As. DEAD". "NO. NO. GET OUT. JUST GET OUT" I yelled, thrashing about. He was NOT going to win.

* * *

-uldn't… because I was surrounded by water… 30 seconds passed… then a minute… I could hold my breath for two… then 1:30… then 1 minute and 50 seconds… I was blacking out… I was shutting down… I was losing control… I was letting go... I was drowning-

* * *

"You can't do this" I shouted and he chuckled darkly, a terrifying sound, "I already have. Goodbye Stark. Hope you enjoy the little movie I put together".

"No… NO" I shouted again, "Get the FUCK AWAY"

"Tony… TONY… Come on, It's ok" someone said shaking and my eyes shot open, grasping onto their arm and gasping for breath.

"Breathe Tony, you need to breathe, come on god damn it" he ordered. Breathe. Ok, I had to breathe. Forcing myself to take a deep breath, I almost threw up, and he put a hand on my shoulder, sitting me up. Coughing, I tried my hardest to calm down, not succeeding very well.

"For fucks sake Stark, BREATHE" he yelled, patting me on the back. Breathe. Ok. Just breathe. That's all I had to do. I forced myself to let go of the breath I didn't even know I was holding, and tried to relax. Ok, I was breathing. Now I just had to calm down. Come on Stark, just Calm. Down. I was all right. Everything was all right. Relax. I was fine. And all that was ruined by another coughing fit. Great.

* * *

"Tony. TONY. Come on mate, look at me" he said again, "Look at me Stark". Turning to the voice, I coughed again. Clint. Hey, Barton was here. That was good. He would help me.

"Ok, good, now listen to me ok? You. Need. To. Calm. Down all right? Just calm down" he said firmly and I nodded slightly, another coughing fit taking over. I could hardly breathe. I couldn't breathe. But I had to breathe. Stupid God. I put my hand over my mouth, trying to stop coughing, but something wasn't right. Slowly, I lowered my hand, finding… blood… there was blood on my hand… Clint seemed to only notice then too.

"Jeasus fucking Christ" he muttered, before jumping up and running over to the door, "GUYS, BRUCE, ANYONE!" He looked back to me, "You're going to be all right buddy". But I wasn't was I? I couldn't breathe. I just… couldn't breathe.

"SOMEONE HELP" Barton yelled again, too afraid to leave me, "HELP, SOMEONE… ANYONE…"

No response. Clint looked back to me, "Tony, you need to hang in there ok? I have to get help. Don't you dare die while I'm gone ok?"

* * *

I couldn't respond. I couldn't breathe. I couldn't stop coughing… coughing up blood. Clint looked back at me for a fleeting moment before running off down the hall, trying to find someone. And at 1am in the morning, it would be getting slightly difficult. I could still hear him shouting, all the way down the hallway.

"I told you that you would pay Stark" someone hissed, but there was no one there. Nobody at all. "And now you are". Loki. He was inside my head. He was going to kill me.

It was barely 3 minutes later when Clint came running back in, followed by a very confused Bruce. Then again, my little feathers never made much sense when he was worried.

* * *

-Just think of what the others will think of you. Breakdo-

* * *

No, I was not letting Loki take over my mind again.

"Tony, Tony can you hear me?" Bruce asked, rushing about, "Clint get help. I might not be able to do this on my own. NOW CLINT".

He ran out of the room again. I was shaking. No, I was having a panic attack. Was I? And I was... Dizzy... I could see two Bruce's... Oh god.

* * *

-Breakdowns. Flashbacks. They'll think your gone crazy. Not that they would actually care-

* * *

"Tony? TONY. Can you hear me?" He asked, tilting me forward so I wouldn't choke. I managed a small nod. "That's good. You have to focus on me ok? Just me. Don't go to sleep" he said, as Clint ran back in breathless, followed by Steve and Natasha.

"Thor's gone to Asgard" he said panting, "Loki business". Loki? Oh no. No not him. No... NO NO NO. He was NOT here. He was NOT going to control me. Not again...

* * *

-And trust me Stark; I do plan on killing you. I plan on making it very painful when I kill you. A slow painful death. You thi-

* * *

"Tony... STARK. Snap out of it" Bruce ordered, "You go back there, you won't be able to come back out".

"Where's 'there' exactly?" Steve asked quietly, and Bruce glanced up at him, doing something to the heart monitor next to me, "His mind".

* * *

"Anxiety attack, Haemoptysis" Bruce said suddenly as i started coughing again. Everything was so... Dizzy... Confusing... And I was cold... So, so cold...

"Bruce. English" Natasha said and he sighed, trying to do everything at once, the heart monitor, me, and what looked like an injection.

"In English... He's got too much blood in his lungs and is having a very severe panic attack thanks to a certain God who's messed up his head" Bruce replied harshly, "Tony; I need you to stay still ok? This is going to hurt but it'll be worse if you fight against it".

I gripped onto the bed sheets as a horribly large needle was gently put into my arm. But that was nothing compared to the pain that followed. A piercing, strong, viscous pain, that took over every thought I had. The fluid in the injection. It was blue. And it felt like freezing ice as well as burning fire. A Frozen Flame. I bit down on my tongue hard, trying my hardest not to cry out.

Then the needle was gone. And the coughing finally ceased. And I was left with a dull, empty feeling. Like there was no such thing as feelings or emotions. It was just empty. Slowly, I felt my hands relax, and the rest of my body quickly followed. The last thing I heard was Bruce's gentle voice. "Rest".|


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

The next day I woke up as usual, slightly dizzy, but otherwise ok... Well, as ok as I could be under the circumstances...

"You ok?" Someone asked, throwing me out of my thoughts. I turned my head to the sound of the voice. Clint Barton.

I smiled slightly, "don't you ever leave?" My voice was rough but thankfully, he didn't mention it.

"Nope" he replied, "But are you ok?"

"Is Thor back?" I asked, looking up at the ceiling to avoid he gaze. I was not going to answer his question. I didn't want to say i was fine. Because I didn't want to lie. I was simply going to avoid it.

"That's not an answer to my question" he replied and I smirked, "nor is that to mine".

"Tony" he warned.

"Clint" I replied, matching his tone.

He sighed, giving in after a few minutes, "Yea, came back about an hour ago".

"And..." I trailed off. There was no need for names. We all had the same crazed god somewhere in our minds... For me, a bit more than others... And all for a horrible reason...

"They don't know" he said quietly.

I frowned, falling back against the pillows. No word of HIM. No new leads. Nothing to show where he might possibility be. Nothing.

"Now it's your turn" Clint said.

I laughed darkly, "what do you think Clint? Honestly? Were you ok a two days after?".

He sighed again, "No. But it was worth a shot". Worth a shot? I can't see any possible way that could be worth a shot, at all. But hey, it kept him happy.

* * *

"Bruce says you'll be out in three or four days" Barton muttered, "Depends on the... You know...".

"The memories" I whispered and he nodded slightly, "The memories" he agreed. Well, it would take a lot more time for them to go away. Not that I'd let them know that.

"You could always-".

"No Clint" I replied, cutting him off.

He frowned, "you don't even know what I'm about-".

"You want me to talk. That's what you were about to say" I replied calmly, interrupting him again. He didn't argue. Guess I was then.

"It does help. Honestly. I should know" he muttered, "even if you're sad enough to talk about it to yourself".

"I see you've been making great use of your bedroom mirror" I shot back and he smiled slightly, "I did... At the start... Then I realised I was better to talk to an actual person. And before you go all on about how you don't need professional help and all that crazy shit, it doesn't even have to be a psychologist or someone. You could always talk to someone like Pepper. You know she'd listen" he said and I smiled weakly. Pepper Potts. She didn't know what happened. She doesn't even know anything had changed. Because she was currently in Paris at a huge business conference that I refused to take part in. I almost wish I had gone now. Almost.

"Peps back... When?" I asked. What time was it? What DAY was it?

"In three days. Thursday there time. She'll be back on Friday" he replied and I slowly nodded. Three days. Bruce said i could be out in three days. And if in was going to explain how... How HE... Had played with my head and almost killed me, I think it would look better if i was actually able to walk... Or stand... I think even sitting up would be a great achievement right about now. She was going to freak out. That was for sure. She was going to worry and fuss and check if i was dead. Then she was going to yell. Then break down in tears. Then calm down and ask questions. Then she would accept what happened and keep a watchful eye on me for a few days after while thinking I didn't notice. And then, hopefully, this latest stunt Thor's adoptive brother pulled, would all blow over and we would go back to being normal. Hopefully.

* * *

Steve came later. And man, was that awkward. Unforcently, even though I could fool a highly trained assassin/spy which would make a super solider easier, Clint refused to let me pretend to be asleep again. So we just sat there in an awkward silence for a while. Rogers said sorry. ALOT. I asked what for. He shrugged and said sorry again. Same thing every few minutes. Clint actually fell asleep. Not that I minded or anything, even though I could have used a few jokes to brighten up Capcicle's day.

I didn't actually know the last time Barton slept. The only thing making me fall asleep were the drugs Bruce kept on using to knock me out. So I could never actually tell whether Legolas slept or not. But considering I hadn't seen him leave the room since I woke up the first time, and the fact he was obviously over protecting me in that adorable brotherly kind of way, and all so the way he tensed up at every little noise as if someone was back to finish killing me, I severely doubted he had slept at all. So I let him be. And he was still asleep when Steve left bout an hour later.

And he was all so still asleep when I got a certain green-eyed visitor.

* * *

My head quickly snapped up as a flash of green caught my eye. "Hello Stark". Swallowing back my fear, I glared up at him, "you know Rudolf, that's the same line you used the last time we met". Slowly, I started reaching over with my hand, hoping and wishing and praying that I could poke Clint Barton awake. But then of course, nothing escapes the God of Mischief and a second later, he had stepped forward, grabbing my hand before I could do anything.

"Well well well, I would have thought better of you Stark. You should have learnt your lesson by now" he said smirking, squeezing my hand with unbelievable strength, flaring up the pain on my broken wrist, before sharply twisting it. I bit back a loud shout as I heard the distinct sound of a bone snapping and jutting out of place. My hand fell limp by my side.

He smirked in victory, walking back over to the other side of the small room and leaning back against the wall, "do I need to do the same to the other arm?".

I shook my head slowly, trying to ignore the horrible voice in the back of my head reminding me that I couldn't feel my left arm anymore. And I was left handed too...

"Now you listen Stark, and you listen good" he said quietly, but there was a hidden warning behind his voice, "I don't care that people are looking for me. I don't care that you're beaten up and bruised. And I don't care if you're scared right now. The only thing I care about is getting you fucked up worse than your life is". "Wow. An Asgardian prince reduced to swearing. Shit just got serious" I said, forcing a grin and he took a step forward. Another warning. But hey, i was on a roll now. And I didn't plan on stopping anytime soon. "But then of course... You're not an Asgardian are you?". Oooh, that did it. He slowly walked back up to me, and without a word, caught my already fucked up arm, and pulled hard on it. The pain was unbearable and this time, I couldn't stop the hiss on my lips. He smiled, calmly turning and walking back to his wall, "No. I'm not. But it all so means I'm slightly... Stronger... than others. I'm not entirely sure you'll be able to use that arm again by the time I'm done". Not able to use that arm again? But I wrote with my left hand. I couldn't work without my hands. I NEEDED my hands. He laughed evilly at the worry forming behind my eyes, "Ah. I see. You need your hands for work. After all, what's an inventor when he's nothing to make things with?".

"The same guy who'll kill the god who put him there" I shot back and he laughed, "You can try. But you're just a mere mortal".

"And your just a half-bred" I hissed and his features darkened, "Be careful in what you say Stark. Or I might ju-".

"Oh sorry" I said, cutting him off, "I didn't mean to offend you. Would mongrel be better?"

Before I knew what had happened, he had me pinned against the wall where he had been leaning only a few minutes before, a single hand around my neck the only thing keeping me up. Thank god I had a shirt and pants on instead of those horrible hospital gowns. That would have been awkward. "You will pay for all this dearly Stark" he hissed, squeezing tighter and tighter, "and not all the protection in the world can save you". I could barely breed now, and was clawing uselessly at his hand, trying to loosen his hold on my throat. It wasn't working. "And even if they wanted to, why would they? You're nothing to them" he continued.

"I'm... N-not fa-fal-falling... For t-that again... B-bastard" I choked out, but hey, if this was how I was going to die, by being strangled by an delusional god, I'd be damned if i wasn't going to use my last few breathes on pissing the hell out of him.

* * *

His grip only tightened, "Oh but you already have Stark. You're weak. You're vulnerable. You know you're not worth it, that it'd be a waste to even TRY and save you".

No. I refuse to believe him. I wouldn't, I COULDN'T, start believing him. Not after everything I try and do to block him out. I was going to ignore him. I was NOT going to listen... And yet i found myself thinking the God of Lies was now telling the truth...

Then suddenly, the scepter was in his other hand. He muttered a few ancient words, placing it to my head once again, before grinning darkly as the blackness overtook me.

* * *

The piercing tremors that shook through my body, the feeling of knives and cloth on my chest, the bitter smell of Chloride as they tried to drug me. The live operation.

Being cut up like a laboratory rat. No morphine. No anaesthetic. No freedom from the endless shocks of pain. No drugs. Nothing.

I ran for it, sprinting towards the rocks on the far side of the truck, trying to ignore the soldiers, who were now dead, surrounding me. I quickly looked around for my Stark phone, pulling it out just as something landed next to me. Something that read 'Stark Industries'.

My father... The military... Obie... Justin Hammer... The wars... Afghanistan... The betrayals, the losses, and the pain... Always the pain...

Old memory's that I had spent years, YEARS, trying to forget, came to the surface as fresh as the day they were born.

Bullets... Bullets and shouting... "STAY HERE" someone yelled at me and I looked around confused. I was... In Afghanistan... In the humvee... No... No, not here... Anywhere but here... Then it was fading... Just fading... And I was brought back to reality...

* * *

"What was that word I used? Pathetic. That was it. Your PATHETIC Stark. You're an embarrassment to the Avengers" he hissed, "look at you. You have a metal can that can fly and shoot aliens. That's it. Why not get an army helicopter instead? Or even a machine gun would be equal to what you can do. You've no super strength. You've no assassin skills. You've no monster. You've no Mjolnir. And you've no archery skills".

"Just the Archery skills huh? What about the sneaking up on fucked god skills?".

Loki let go of me instantly, turning around and ducking just as an arrow went over his head. Gasping for breath, I glanced up through misty eyes to find Clint with his bow inches from the gods head. His LOADED bow.

"Agent Barton. How nice to see you again" Loki said smirking and Clint rolled his eyes, pulling the bow string back, "petty it's your last".

He let go of the string, releasing his arrow, but it only hit the wall. Loki was gone. Vanished. Just like last time...


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

Cursing under his breath, Clint fold up his bow, tying it securely on his back before rushing over and bending down to me, "Tony? Hey, Tony, you ok?".

I felt dizzy, lightheaded even, and it was still difficult to breathe. Why did these things all ways happen to me? It was torture.

Clint cursed again, louder this time before slowly propping me up against the wall, "stay here ok? I'll get Bruce".

The floor was spinning... The room was spinning... Everything was spinning... That was bad right?

* * *

"What happened?". Hey, there was Bruce. He ran over to me, checking my pulse and shaking me gently, "Tony? Tony come on, you need to tell me what happened".

"Where's C-Clint?" I slurred and he sighed, "Clint's fine Tony, he's just a little... Frustrated... at the moment. Now come on, you got to tell me what happened".

"Loki" i mumbled, thanking god that the dizziness was passing.

"Loki?" Bruce asked confused, "As in...".

"Son of a bitch strangled me" I complained and he laughed slightly, "you're talking like yourself anyway, that's good. Right, well I'm guessing Clint saved you from blacking out, but you're still going to be slightly... Confused for a while".

"No shit" I muttered, slowly raising my right hand and patting him on the head, "I'm glad you're a doctor".

"I'm not a real doctor Tony, there's only so many things I can do" he replied sighing, "but I can however..." He froze, staring at me, actual worry spreading across his face.

"What's da matter?" I asked confused and he slowly turned me to the side, "You're... Your arm..."

"Oh... That? That was Loki... I can't feel anything shoulder down... I think it's fucked" I admitted, laughing slightly. He didn't find it funny.

"Can you stand?" He asked, putting a hand around my waist and helping me up and I laughed weakly again, "well, we're about to find out aren't we?" He didn't find that funny either.

* * *

A few seconds later I had stumbled back over to the bed, sitting down on the edge while Bruce messed about with my arm, my forehead against the cool tiles. You know that feeling you get when you're really really really nervous or scared or get a bad fright about something? That horrible pain in the pit of your stomach? Yea, well I had that now...

"You sure you don't want morphine?" Bruce asked again.

"Nope" I replied.

"It's going to hurt. A LOT. You cannot possibly imagine the amount of pain if you don't accept the drugs" he continued.

"Bruce. Just do it" I said, gritting my teeth.

"Your words not mine" he muttered, before snapping my shoulder into place. Then putting my all so dislocated arm back together. And then my wrist. I had to bite down on a pillow to stop screaming and even then a muffled cry rang out. Jeasus Christ did that hurt! I NEVER wanted to do that again. EVER.

"Told you it would hurt" Bruce said sighing, slowly bending my arm and wrapping a sling around it, "everything's in place now. Sort of".

"Sort of?" I asked, trying to ignore the pain and he sighed, tying the other end of the sling around my neck and shoulder, "your wrist is still broken. And now, so is your arm. There just not dislocated anymore. And there going to hurt like this for at least a week".

"Great" I muttered, slowly flexing my fingers. Ok, bad move. Wincing slightly, I looked up at Bruce, "but I've a feeling our Robin Hood is worse".

Bruce nodded slowly, "he's... Angry, i think, about letting Loki go this far". Angry... He was going to be very quiet and staying to himself then. Well fuck it; I was going to get him to talk. Glancing up at the door, I unsteadily got to my feet, immediately being glared at by Bruce.

"SIT. DOWN" he ordered.

"No can do Brucey. I'm going to find my little birdbrain before he does something stupid" I replied, testing the stability of my leg. It wasn't very good. Catching myself at the last minute, I looked around for something to lean on.

"Tony you are NOT going wandering around the tower when you can barely stand by yourself. Not with a severely twisted knee, and not with an arm that's broken and dislocated in five different places, not to mind other things like your collar bone" Bruce said firmly and i rolled my eyes, "Bruce, this is ME your talking to. Do you honestly think I care bout all that shit? Now point me in the correct direction and I'll be out of your way".

He stared long and hard at me for a few minutes before reaching under the bed and throwing me a crutch, "down the hall. Kitchen".

"Thank you" I said relieved, limping out of the room. Time to find the Hawks nest.

* * *

"Tweety... Here, chirp-chirp" I said wandering around the kitchen. He was defiantly here. I just had a feeling. But where exactly in here?

I whistled, "Come on birdy, or I'll do something stupid and completely reckless and blame it all on the cat".

"You don't have a cat" someone whispered above me and I grinned, looking up and slowly walking along, "I know, that's what's going to confuse them". The air ducks. Of course. My little Hawkeye was perched in his nest. And nests were up high and out of sight. So Clint was in the air vent. Jumping up onto the counter, I winced, biting back a cry as I hit my arm of the worktop. Damn gods.

"I shouldn't have fallen asleep. I shouldn't have stayed asleep. I shouldn't have just left you like that" he whispered, his voice hoarse and scratchy. Looking up at the metal vent I sighed, "It's not your fault Clint. Not even a tiny itsy bitsy bit. He's a physcotic god. And has no routine what so ever. No one could have known he'd come back".

"But I still... I just... If anything else had..." He trailed off, "he didn't actually... Did he?" He was asking if Loki had fucked up my mind even more... How could I answer that? Say yes and make him feel worse, or say no and lie. I decided to remain silent.

* * *

A few seconds later, the air vent was opened and Clint emerged, hanging upside down in front of me at perfect eye level, "he did, didn't he?" I just avoided his gaze.

He swore angrily in Russian before flipping and landing steadily on his feet, "DID HE?"

No reply.

"Tony. Come on" he said.

Still didn't answer.

"God damn it Stark, ANSWER ME" he yelled, lifting up my head until I had to look at him. He remained silent for a minute before letting go and turning his back to me, running a hand through his hair, "for FUCKS SAKE Tony. He did, didn't he? The FUCKING BASTARD".

"HEY, no harassing my patients" Bruce ordered, his eyes flashing dangerously green as he entered the kitchen, "both of ye calm the fuck down and start talking".

Clint looked back at me and I silently pleaded with him not to tell Bruce, or anyone else for that matter. Thankfully, he got the message. Unthankfully, he didn't like it.

"Your call Tony" he muttered, brushing past Bruce and heading towards the door, "make it a good one".

* * *

Bruce stared after him confused before turning back to me once the door shut, "what exactly did he mean... By 'Your call'?".

"Nothing important" I replied, forcing a smile, "just some tweeted disagreement on my behalf".

"If by tweeted you mean heated, then wouldn't it be best to sort everything out?" He continued and I sighed. Why was Banner always right?

"It's... It's something neither of us want to talk about" I mumbled and he stared at me suspiciously, "If this is what I think it is, Clint's going to be pretty angry".

"He blames himself" I whispered, shaking my head. It wasn't Clint's fault. It wasn't even my fault this time. It was no one's fault really. Except HIS. Loki fucking Laufeyson. Bastard.

"I take that as a yes to my theory then?" Bruce asked quietly and I nodded, "depends if your theory involves a crazy god and bad memories".

"Jeasus Tony" he grumbled, rubbing his eyes, "how the hell are you still coping?".

I wasn't sure if he actually wanted me to answer that or if it was rhetorical so I remained silent.

* * *

"And the great is officially up" Natasha said entering the kitchen, "and he... Has a... A busted arm? What happened your arm?".

"His new best buddy paid another visit" Bruce explained and she actually growled under her breath, "I'm guessing he gave you that fancy piece of artwork on your neck as well?".

I looked at her confused until Bruce came over and turned my head to the light, "It's already starting to bruise".

"Bruises? Loki... Loki strangled you?" Nat yelled walking over to me. I winced at the mention of his name, "tried to. If he had succeeded, one of you would be making a phone call to Pepper now trying to explain my death. So yes, an unsuccessful murder attempt. Feathers tried to put an arrow through his head".

"What's wrong with Barton now?" She asked glancing around and I looked down uncomfortably, suddenly finding my one good hand very interesting.

She looked back to me, "Stark?". I didn't reply.

-What was that word I used? Pathetic. That was it. Your PATHETIC Stark. You're an embarrassment to the Avengers" he hissed, "look at you. You have a metal can that can fly and shoot aliens. That's it-

She seemed to realise something and turned to Bruce who nodded once. That's all the confirmation she needed.

-You've no super strength. You've no assassin skills. You've no monster. You've no Mjolnir. And you've no archery skills-

"Come here" Nat grumbled, pulling me into a hug. Ok that was unexpected. Natasha Romanoff simply does not do touchy emotional shit. Nor do I. So it was strange being hugged by someone other than Pepper. And that only happened once or twice. So... Yea... Different.

* * *

"You seriously got to stop getting yourself into these things" she said pulling back.

Sighing, I jumped down from the counter, being careful of my leg, "I don't try to find trouble Nat, honestly. I'm just very good at... Attracting it. I just think he likes me".

"Stark, be serious bout this" Bruce said and I smiled slightly, "what am I supposed to say Bruce? What am I supposed to tell Pepper?".

"Well you better think of something. She's back in two days. 48 hours Stark" Nat pointed out and I swore lightly, "When did everything get so complicated?".


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

The next two days passed in a blur. Unforcently. Clint followed me around like a lost puppy, refusing to let me be alone for one minute. I moved back to my own bedroom instead of the mini-hospital one. And much to Bruce's... Frustration... I was back working in my lab again. Man I had missed that place.

* * *

"Sir I believe Ms. Potts is on her way down". Jarvis had a real good way of being subtle hadn't he? I froze, looking up at Clint who stared back at me with the same mixture of panic and disbelief. She was back already? I thought her flight was later...

"Got any excuses I could use?" I asked and Clint smirked, "saving a mother and baby from a burning building always works".

"Yea, for you. Cause you fight with no armour" I replied, "and I don't think my arm could get this bad no matter what happened to me in the suit".

"Good point" he muttered, "how about it was a spur of the moment thing? You were... Walking back from a cafe?".

"Coffee? Coffee works. Everyone knows I love coffee. But you know Bruce won't lie to Pepper. He's too kind... But then again..." I trailed off, grinning at my best friend.

"I do have a new distraction iv been meaning to test" Barton said mischievously.

"Then that's what we can do. I'll fi-". My words were drowned out by a small beep, and my favourite ginger-haired girl standing at the door. The only ginger-haired girl I knew. Natasha had more... Red hair. Not ginger. So this ginger haired girl could only be one person. Pepper Potts.

* * *

"Tony? What... What happened to you?" She asked quietly, staring at me confused. And just like that, every single excuse I had in my mind, vanished.

* * *

"I... Um... Am..." I stammered, looking over to Clint for help. He shook his head, "You got this man. You choose what to say". He was no help then. I turned back to Pepper as she slowly walked over, as if in shock. And she probably was too. I looked horrible. So I didn't blame her as she froze a meter away, staring at me.

"... Who did this to you?" She asked quietly again. I didn't reply. I couldn't tell her the truth could I? She'd be terrified. Wouldn't she?

"Tony" she warned, walking over to me. Guess she wasn't in shock anymore. Gently reaching up, she turned my head to the light, just as Bruce had done, revealing black and blue bruises across my neck.

"Tony, who did this?" She asked a third time, looking me up and down, her eyes resting on certain parts. My neck. My shoulder. My arm. My wrist. My leg. All the injured parts. Tears formed in her eyes briefly but she angrily wiped them away.

"Do you know how many times I've had to come home to this?" She asked, "to find you beaten up or half dead? Well I'll tell you. 11 times Tony. 11 times. And not once did you say why or when it happened. So this time, I'm putting my foot down. And god help you if you don't start explaining".

"... How about I tell you what happened all the other times... And NOT this one" I said and she slammed her fist on the table, "No Stark. Either start speaking now or your going to have to find a new CEO to run your company". She was... She was going to quit? She was going to just... Quit? Just like that? All because I didn't want her to know about HIM? Fuck.

* * *

I looked over at Clint again who shook his head sadly before turning back to Pepper, "it was...". Should I tell her? I couldn't... Could I?

* * *

-The next thing I knew, i was on my back, surrounded by metal, with blood pouring from my chest. Then the pain star-

* * *

No. I was not letting him win this time. Not after everything he had done Fucking bastard was finally going to lose. And I was going to win. I would beat him. I WAS going to beating him.

* * *

-ted. The piercing tremors that shook through my body, the feeling of knives and cloth on my chest, the bitter smell of Chloride as they tried to drug me. The live operati-

* * *

Shaking my head angrily against the thoughts, I glanced up at a half-worried/half-furious Pepper before looking down at my desk.

"Loki" I muttered, "The God of Lies".

She stared at me confused for a few seconds before dragging over a chair and sitting down across from me, "what?".

"Loki" I repeated, "Loki fucking Laufeyson".

"...He did all... This?" She asked and I nodded, continuing to stare at the empty desk.

"... How did he get in?" She asked and I smiled slightly, "magic".

She sighed, brushing back her long hair, "and that's it? He broke in, beat you up, then let you for dead?"

"Twice" I corrected quietly, "first time he stopped and got Jarvis to call for others. Second time Legolas over there tried to put an arrow through his head".

"TWICE? The most wanted criminal in the world got into the Avengers tower TWICE? And battered you around both times?" She asked, suddenly angry again and I nodded slowly.

"... And that's all he did?" She asked calmly and I tensed up. Why did she have to ask that question? Why, oh why, did it have to be THAT one? Of everything she could have asked... Everything she could have said... It had to be that...

* * *

"Tony? Was that all he did? What else happened?" She asked again, more worried this time, and I glanced up, looking over her shoulder and catching Clint's eyes. He nodded once and it was only then Pepper seemed to realise. Turning around in her chair, she looked over at Barton, then back to me, and then the same thing again.

"No" she muttered, turning back to me, "no... That can't be right...". I remained silent, leaving her to think over what happened.

"It... He did didn't he?" She asked quietly and when I remained silent, she took it as a confirmation, "oh god no... No, no, no. That can't be right...". I tapped my head sighing, "Twice he came. Twice he fucked up my mind".

"Jeasus Tony" she breathed, leaning back in her chair, "and you... No one... Nobody told me?".

"It was on a need-to-know basis Peps. If I had told you, you would have rushed back. And it's not exactly serious either" I replied sadly and Clint swore loudly, "Honestly Stark? Seriously? Thats bullshit and you know it. That's his side of your mind talking. Snap out of it".

"CLINT" Pepper snapped, "Shut up. Stark, get yourself together. Both of ye have been through this. Both of ye can get out of this". I looked up at her surprised. So did Barton. Pep NEVER lost her cool. It simply did not happen.

* * *

She sighed, rubbing her eyes tiredly, "sorry. Ignore me. Post-Atlantic flight speaking".

"No. Seriously. Your fine. That's the straightest anyone's said it in a week" I said and she smirked, "then get used to it. Cause until I have at least a full 12 hours sleep, and a huge mug of coffee, I'm gonna be like this".

"Scary Pepper. Real scary" Clint muttered and she laughed, heading for the door, "I'm gonna start on that 12 hour sleep so I'll see ye tomorrow. Night guys".

"Night Peps" I muttered, watching her leave before turning back to Clint, "you could do with some sleep too".

"Not after last time" he replied firmly and I sighed, "well I'm not gonna be able to sleep anyway, so I'll wake you up at the slightest chance anyone with antlers breaks in. And I doubt Rudolf's going to show after you dented his pride the last day".

"Tony. I'm not leaving you again" he replied sighing and I grinned, "you do know that I know where Bruce keeps his drug stash right?".

"You wouldn't dare" he growled and I laughed, "sleeping pills? Oh I would. Trust me. But if you to to sleep willingly, I might not have to get them".

He stared at me for a few seconds before slowly closing his eyes, "I'm gonna kill you for this you know".

"Don't worry, I know, but not for another while anyway" I replied smirking, "Now go to sleep or I'll personally get Natasha to make you swallow some drugs". That did it. And a few seconds later, he was softly snoring.

* * *

Barton-0. Stark-1.


	9. Chapter 9

_Ok, I'm sorry about the late update, but lately I'm out of idea's on how to continue this story._

_I WILL finish it, that much I promise, but if anyone has any idea's or suggestions, no matter how big or small or smart or stupid they may be, it would be MUCH APPRECIATED!_

_I got the idea for this chapter thanks to a certain reviewer . So a huge thank you. _

_Rachel :)_

* * *

**CHAPTER 9**

"Sir, I believe there is a M-". Jarvis was cut off by loud footsteps and a knock on the door.

"Who is it?" I asked quietly, not bothering to look up.

"Someone who should have been here a long time ago" Clint replied, and I could just tell he was glaring at the door. Yep, three days on from when Pepper came back, and my Labrador was still as faithful as ever.

Sighing, I put down the… the… I didn't even know what I was building. My mind was too busy thinking about something else. Something I was NOT going to mention. So I put down the… object… and spun around in my chair to face the door.

"Fury" I muttered and Clint nodded, "Long over due an appointment in my opinion".

"Well keep your opinions to yourself when he's around or you'll be looking for another job" I replied grinning, "Let him in J".

* * *

A second later, the door slid open and Fury calmly walke- WO,WO,WO. HANG ON A MINUTE. CALMLY? Fury was CALMLY walking in? That… That was something I had not yet seen… Until now. I stared at him suspiciously as he stopped about a meter away from my seat, looking me up at down, his gaze finally resting on mine. Brown on brown. He seemed to be… Searching? For something. And then, after a few awkwardly silent minutes, he sighed and looked away.

"…Ok, not that I don't mind a one-eyed guy checking me out, but what the fuck was that about?" I asked after another few silent minutes. Clint stifled a laugh and I knew that comment was going to set Fury off… But it didn't… He didn't even glare as he looked back up at me… And I was the only one who flinched when he said that one single word.

* * *

"Loki".

* * *

He knew.

* * *

"Ah… yea… God of Lies… Thor's brother and stuff" I mumbled, dropping my gaze and turning back to… the object.

"I know that h-" Fury started but I cut him off, "Fucked up my mind. Yea. I would know. Its old news now. Why are you here Nick?".

He sighed again, glancing over at Clint, "Barton. It would be wise for you to leave before I continue".

"Whatever you have to say about that bastard to Stark. You can say to me" Clint replied firmly, crossing his arms and I had to admire the guy. He could get fired for that. Fury slowly nodded, walking around in front of me.

"We need to catch him".

"I know where this is going Nicky, and you have my permission to go fuck yourself if you think I'm going to do it" I replied calmly without looking up. But it was obvious that was not the answer he wanted, "Your our only hope Stark".

"ONLY HOPE… Its got a nice ring to it, don't it?" I mused and he slammed a fist on the table, "Listen to me Stark. If you thin-"

"No, listen to ME" I snapped, "No way am I doing it. Do I have to spell it out for you? Cause trust me, I will. I. WANT. NOTHING. TO. DO. WITH. THAT. FUCKING. SON. OF. A. BITCH. Got it?".

* * *

He glared at me, standing back up and slowly wandering throughout the lab, trying to calm down. It wasn't helping much.

"… How much do you want Stark?" he finally asked, turning to me sharply, "What will it take for you to do this?".

I stared at him amazed, "You think I want MONEY? News flash Nickie, I'm a BILLIONAIRE".

"Then WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT?" he shouted and I smirked, "Nothing on this fucking earth, nor Asgard, or in the whole. Fucking. Universe. Would get me to do this".

"Every man has his price" he shot back and I laughed, "EVERY man? Then answer me this Nickie, What do you get a man, that has it all?".

"Protection" he replied.

* * *

"Protection? I'm surrounded by the best technology in the world, and have a bunch of superhero's following my every move, and you think you can off me protection?" I asked and he nodded, "From Loki. You let us catch him. He won't be a problem anymore".

"That defeats the purpose of offering something though doesn't it? Either way it's a win win situation for you".

"I'm a man who usually gets his way Stark" he replied and I smirked, "But at what cost? Tell me Fury, how's the Brother these days?".

"He has a BROTHER?" Barton asked and I nodded, my eyes still locked on Fury's, "One brother. One sister. Jacob and Dawn Fury. Kept that under your hat didn't you Nickie?".

"DON'T. YOU. FUCKING. DARE. BRING. THEM. INTO. THIS" he shouted and I sighed, "You bring up a bad subject for me. I'll bring up a bad subject for you. And may I offer a suggestion? SHEILD really has to protect their files more. It was simply too easy to get into yours".

* * *

"Do It for yourself Stark" he said, "You know my plan. So do it, and be rid of him"

"Why? Why should I?" I asked quietly, "He fucked up my life. SHEILD fucked up my life. Why on this FUCKING Earth would I want to help you?".

"Because you've got no other choice" he muttered, "As much as I hate to admit it, your our greatest asset Stark. Your also our greatest Liability. Which is why I'm doing this".

"Your telling me your doing this to PROTECT me? Now why do I find that so hard to believe?" I asked and he rolled his eyes, "For once in your fucking life Stark. Do as your told".

* * *

"…When and where?" I finally asked and he breathed a sigh of relief, "Tomorrow. Stay here. Preferably somewhere that can cause the least amount of damage. Alone".

"And SHIELD?" I asked.

"I'll have a team on standby. The minute you shout, we're there" he replied smirking and I grinned, "You do realise you owe for this don't you?".

"Don't remind me" he muttered, heading back towards the door, "And Stark? Do us a favour and don't get beaten up this time".

I smirked, "No promises".

* * *

"…What just happened?" Clint asked slowly once the door had shut and I turned to him sighing, "Fury wants to catch… him".

"And your helping?" he asked.

"Technically".

"Technically? What does that even mean?".

"It means I am helping him. But not in the way you think".

"Your not doing the electrical work?".

"Nope".

"And your not fighting?".

"In this condition, no way".

"And your not back up?".

"Clint. I'm NOT fighting".

"…So what are you then?" he asked confused and I sighed, "I'm the bait".


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10 **

Everything was set up.

SHIELD agents were inconspicuously placed outside the tower.

The Avengers were, VERY reluctantly, far, far away in some deserted country.

And I was casually sipping a glass of whiskey in the sitting room. Alone. With an ear piece connected to Fury.

We were ready.

* * *

And for some reason, I wasn't nervous. Or scared. Or anxious. I didn't even jump as a flash of green caught my eye. I just calmly downed the rest of my favourite 71 year old alcohol, slowly put the glass down and turned to face the furious, slightly confused, God of Mischief.

"Yessss?" I asked boredly and he raised an eyebrow at me, "Yes? That's all you can say?".

"Well would you prefer I showed you the door? In a very un-mannerly kind of way?" I shot back and he smirked, "Wouldn't be the first time".

"Sir, the agents are on their way" Jarvis announced and suddenly Loki was holding his sceptre, "You brought SHIELD into this?".

"I didn't have much of a choice" I shot back, "Id give you maybe… 30 seconds? Before 50 SHIELD agents burst down that door and arrest you before you can say Hocus-Pocus".

"And the great Anthony Stark asks for assistance" he replied laughing, "In fact, he NEEDS help".

I glared at him, "What do you want mongrel?". His hand holding the sceptre twitched as his returned a vicious glare. Oh, if only looks could kill.

"A bit touchy today aren't we?" I asked smirking and he took a step forward. And against my better judgement, I threw my whiskey glass at him. Completely not expecting the results.

It went straight through him. The glass went straight through Loki's stomach and smashed off the wall. This was not the real Loki.

* * *

"Your a... a... a CLONE" I shouted, jumping up and scrabling away from him. He smirked and snapped his fingers. A split second later there was 3 of them. Then 5. then 7. Then 9. And then I gave up counting.

"Of course I knew you being all alone was too good to be true" the clones all said at once, "So I had to improvise".

I panicked. I couldn't help it. It was my automatic response when there were over 30 half god, half frost giant gods standing in front of me. So I ran. I ran fro the nearest exit, and went as fast as my feet could carry me down the hall. I ran.

* * *

But then of course, the clones didn't come after me. They all shrinked back to a single god as SHIELD burst through the door, arresting him straight away. But the handcuffs went through his wrists. He wasn't after all, a real person. So he simply flashed a grin at the stunned agents, and evaporated into thin air.

"Enjoying the party trick?".

I jumped at the voice, spinning around to face... a... Loki. I couldn't tell if he was real or not. But I honestly didn't want to hang around enough to find out. So I took off down the opposite hallway.

But of course, this Loki, decided to follow me.

* * *

"Fury!" I gasped.

"Stark? STARK, what's happening?" he yelled through the comms as I took a sharp left.

"Its not him" I panted.

"What do you mean 'Its not him'?" he asked angrily.

"Loki. ITS NOT HIM. It's a clone. His clone. A fake" I shouted and his swore loudly, "Then where's the fucking real Loki?".

I stopped suddenly as a man clad in green and gold armour stepped out in front of me, smirking darkly.

"Stark? STARK ANSWER ME" Fury yelled but I was frozen. Partly shock. Partly fear. I couldn't even move as Loki reached out and took my ear piece and smirked at it, staring at the black object in the palm of his hand. It stood out starkly against his pale skin.

"STARK! WHERE THE FUCK IS THE REAL LOKI?" the director shouted and the gods smirk grew wider, "Right here".

I just had time to hear Fury's "Ohhhh shit" before Loki smashed the ear piece. When he re-opened his fist, the comms set was reduced to dust.

"Wont be needing this any time soon" he said grinning and I slowly took a few steps back. Then again, walk is a little much. I more of… stumbled. He took a step forward. I took a step back. He took two steps in my direction. I took two steps away from his direction. Then I felt the cool, hard, concrete wall that my back was pressed to. I was trapped. In my own home. By an immortal team mates immortal adoptive brother that wasn't even meant to be immortal. Only I could get myself into something as fucked up as this.

* * *

Three things registered in my mind as Loki slowly closed in the gap between us.

1. He had the sceptre and was about to fuck up my mind again.

2. I had no possible exit unless I fought my way out

And 3. By the end of tonight, I was going to be completely, and utterly, Dead.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

Loki glared down at me, "That was a stupid move Stark".

"Tell me about it" I muttered and a second later I was in a dazed heap on the floor. Bastard hit me. REALLY HARD. I could taste the rusty blood in my mouth as I glared up at him. He just smirked.

"Get up" he snarled and despite the current situation, I stayed firmly on the floor, crossing my arms like a stubborn teenager, a move made slightly difficult with a sling.

"I'll give you to the count of 3 Stark. If you're not back on your feet by then, I'll-".

"You'll what?" I asked, "Beat me up like last time? Fuck up my mind with the sceptre again? Cause to be honest there's not a whole lot more you can do" I snapped, cutting him off.

"GET. UP" he hissed and I stuck my tongue out at him, "No".

* * *

"STARK" he warned but I refused to budge.

"Your acting like a bloody school boy" he snapped and I smirked, "Thank you. It's a personal favourite… skill… of mine".

He caught my collar and dragged me to my feet, slamming me back against the wall, "Your pathetic".

"Yea, I tend to get that a lot recently" I mused and the anger blazed in his eyes. Good. He was furious. The anger controlling his actions. That meant he was more likely to make mistakes.

"Do I need to remind you Stark?" he asked quietly, his voice full of venom and I grinned my billion-dollar smile, "Go right ahead Rudolf".

* * *

Seconds… Minutes… Hours… Time evolved into itself as the familiar memories flashed back. But this time, I tried to ignore them. I blocked them out. I fought back.

"Give it up Stark. You'll never win".

Loki's cool voice cut through my thoughts, slicing open my defences with every word. He was winning. But I was going to come out on top.

Afghanistan… Water… Yinsen… The Ten Rings… Water… Water… Water.

NO, I told myself, SNAP OUT OF IT.

It was just Loki. It was ALL Loki. Fucking Bastard.

Blocking out the images, I tried to get back to myself… which is a very strange sounding thing to say.

* * *

I fought against the invisible binds trapping me in Loki's game, in my own mind and concentrated on moving my hand. And after a few unsuccessful tries, I could finally feel my left arm again. Then my legs… and my chest… and the Arc Reactor. I had never been so happy to feel the familiar buzz of my little blue light.

I waited a few seconds, acting as if I was still trapped, before bringing up my legs and kicking the god, pushing him back. He stumbled a few feet, letting go of my collar, and thanking my genius brain for quick thinking, I grabbed his sceptre and ran. I had to find SHIELD. I had to find Fury. I had to find SOMETHING.

I made it to the elevator, frantically pressing the button over and over again, glancing over my shoulder. Loki wasn't there. And that worried me more than the actual god himself.

*Beep*. My head snapped back to the elevator as the doors opened. I ran into the small space, quickly pressing the button for the doors to close. What floor was I on?

* * *

"J, you there?" I asked.

"Of course sir" the AI replied confidently and I breathed a sigh of relief, "What floors SHIELD and Fury on?".

"15 sir. 24 floors down. They are currently searching for you and Mr. Laufeyson" he replied and I sighed, hitting the button for floor 15. In my haste to get away from the… clone… I hadn't realised where I was going. I just knew I had to run. And I had somehow gotten myself up 24 flights of stairs… Cool.

* * *

Once the elevator was moving, I sank down to my knee's, shaking violently. The images, the memories, the hurt, loss, and betrayal, was all still on top of my mind. Shaking my head angrily, I looked up, literally shouting as the god stood in front of me.

I jumped to my feet, completely terrified, and backed away from him. Loki just smirked, watching me as I realised I couldn't escape him, my back pressing against the metal wall. Not in such a small space. I suddenly felt very claustrophobic. And almost had a heart attack when the god snapped his fingers and the elevator abruptly stopped.

"Jarvis?" I asked quietly. No answer.

"J, you better start this lift" I said again. No reply.

Gulping, I turned back to Loki, who had crossed his arms, shifting his weight to one foot, and stared at me with interest.

"And what, do you suppose, you're going to use that for?" he asked and it was only then I remembered I was holding the sceptre. HIS sceptre.

"Well, I could use it to kill you" I replied, both surprised and grateful at how steady and confident my voice was.

He frowned, "You could. Or you could hand it over and id minimise the damage to your being".

"Is that a threat?" I asked, "Cause I don't take kindly to threats. That kind of attitude will get you no where".

He glared at me, snapping his fingers again, muttering some fast Asgardian words and I felt a horrible, tearing, slicing feeling in my chest. It was like being ripped open. So I looked down, completely freezing as I saw blood trailing a line down my shirt. Slowly I tugged it open, revealing a single, straight line, being cut across my skin just below the reactor down to my waist. Invisible knife. Now I know how Draco Malfoy felt in the fifth Harry Potter book.

* * *

Looking back up at Loki, I tried my hardest to ignore the pain, and glared at him, "That's the best you've got?".

A split second later, he had punched me again, effectively breaking my nose. Cursing and swearing, I punched him in the stomach, wiping the blood from my face. He stumbled back, but charged at me again, kicking the side of my already bad knee. I heard a sickening snap and felt a flaring pain for a few seconds before I couldn't feel my right leg. I felt it give out from under me and collapsed to the ground, cursing and swearing in every language I knew, which wasn't much, but I think I got the message across.

He grinned, pressing down on my leg and the pain shot back again. I bit back a cry, looking for anything to get out of his grip, my eyes finally resting on the stick I was still holding in my hand. So I raised the sceptre, and willed with all my might for it to do something.

But nothing happened. At all. So I did the next best thing. I hit him with it… Across the head… REALLY HARD… And he fell down, unconscious. I stared at the unmoving god's body, slowly pulling myself up and leaning against the corner of the elevator for support. I couldn't feel my leg. At all. Which meant it was broken. Broken leg, broken collar bone, broken arm, broken wrist, two broken fingers and five broken ribs. I think I officially broke the Guinness Book Of World Records for the most bones broken within two weeks...

* * *

"Sir, a medical team is on standby".

"Jarvis? Jeasus man, where were you?" I asked surprised as the elevator started moving again.

"My apologises sir, but Mr. Laufeyson seemed to have cut my power when he… snapped his fingers" the AI admitted and I smiled slightly, "Don't worry Jarv, we'll fix that problem".

"Thank you sir… Are you alright?" he asked and I couldn't hold back a laugh, "Your confirmed of my well being Jarvis?".

"Well sir, your loosing a lot of blood" he replied and I froze, looking down at my chest. It was dripping with blood. Literally, there was a dark red puddle forming at my feet. Quickly clasping my hand over the cut, I tried to ignore the slight dizziness and concentrated on taking deep breaths. My broken nose didn't help there. Especially since it was bleeding. Man I was fucked up.

"Sir?" Jarvis asked and I glanced up at the metal ceiling, "Yea?".

"You have arrived on the 15th floor".


	12. Chapter 12 (Finished)

**Chapter 12**

SHIELD'S reaction was, to say the least, rather amusing.

They all froze, staring as the doors slid open. And I wouldn't blame them. There was a beaten up, bloodified, genius billionaire playboy philanthropist, Tony Stark/Iron man who was currently holding a magical sceptre, the whole time barely able to stand. And then there was an unconscious evil god, number 1 on the most wanted list, with no injuries what-so-ever, lying face down on the metal floor, completely knocked out. Not a sight you see everyday.

I frowned, searching for a familiar face in the small crowd. Agent number 1. Agent number 2. Agent number 3. And there was Maria Hill. And there was a few guys in fancy uniform. And there was Fury. And there was Barton. And there wa- Wo, wo, wo, back up a bit. Barton?

I snapped my gaze back to him, locking eyes with a familiar greeny-blue pair. Clint. I grinned at him and he smirked back, walking up to me. Everyone else was still frozen in shock.

"Hey Stark" he said and I grinned, "Hey Barton".

* * *

He pulled me into a hug, "Don't you DARE disappear on us again".

"No promises" I replied laughing as he pulled back. I looked over his shoulder, tossing Fury the sceptre, "He's all yours Nickie".

The director unfazed himself just in time to catch the magical stick before it hit the ground. He looked back up at me, then at Loki, then back to me, "How… What… Ho-".

"Nikie" I said firmly, cutting him off, "There's three things I wasn't right now. Food. A shower. And sleep… Preferably in that order. Until those three tasks are complete, Do not ask me shit, ok?".

* * *

Clint stifled a laugh, looking me up and down, "Your pretty fucked up".

"… Yea, I know" I replied and he whistled, looking over at the medical team. They immediately rushed over.

I glared up at him, "You are going to pay for this".

"Tony. You need help. Medical help. Stitches, casts, bright sparkly pink Barbie plasters. The lot" he replied sighing and I narrowed my eyes at him, "If you come anywhere within 10- no, within 50, feet of me with a Barbie plaster, you'll never touch that bow of yours again".

"SHIELD'll get me a new one" he replied confidently and the doctors forced me to sit down on a stretcher.

"Legolas, your forgetting one VERY important crucial fact here" I told him as they wheeled me away, "I know where you sleep".

* * *

Two hours later, I was lying down on the couch back at the Avengers tower, completely worn out. I had, in fact, broken my leg, which was now in a very awkwardly annoying cast, they had fixed my broken nose, and I had gotten quite a lot of stitches across my chest which was then wrapped with white bandages from my waist up to just below the Arc Reactor. My finger, wrist, and arm were still broken surprise, surprise, and they gave me a new sling since the other one was slightly… covered in blood… So, yea… new sling.

"Is he asleep?" someone asked quietly.

"Nope" I said, opening one eye, and looking up to find Pepper leaning over the back of the couch, staring back at me.

She smiled, "You knocked out Loki?".

I grinned back, "Hey, he had it coming".

"And he deserved it" someone else said darkly and I looked around Pepper to find Clint sitting in the armchair, "Your still here?".

"Can't get rid of me that easily" he replied laughing, "Besides, doc says you got a concussion".

I frowned, "Concussion? I cant remember hitting my head…".

"Forgotten already? That's the concussion now for ya" he replied and I smirked, looking back at him, "You're a rubbish liar Barton. You just want to keep an eye on me".

He sighed, "Fine, you got me. But don't tell the others that".

"The others?" I asked confused, "When are they back from their imaginary mission? In fact, why aren't you with them?".

"I kind of promised Fury I would put an arrow through his only eye if I couldn't stay" he admitted, "As for the others, they should be back within the hour at the latest".

"You THREATENED Fury?" I asked, "… You're finally learning".

Pepper frowned and hit me lightly on the shoulder, "NO HARASSING SHIELD".

"Aw, but annoying brainless agents takes up most of my day" I whined and Clint nodded, "Its true. He sends me the video's".

Pepper sighed, and headed back to the elevator, which had been cleaned of all blood, sweat and tears, and hit the button for it.

"I shall check up on you tomorrow. Until then, Stay. Out. Of. Trouble" she told me firmly before disappearing down the lift.

I turned back to Clint, "You know Legolas… I suddenly feel like causing trouble".

He nodded thoughtfully, grinning back at me, "You know what Stark? So do I".

* * *

"New visitor" Clint said suddenly as the elevator dinged. Someone else, had arrived.

"Where is he?". Ah, there was Bruce. Science Buddy. They couldn't see me on the couch. I smirked and raised a hand, "One genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist ".

He rushed over, looking me up and down, "… You broke your leg?".

"Correction. LOKI broke my leg" I replied looking up at him.

He sighed, "What else did LOKI break?".

"Mmm… my nose… got that fixed… not very nice… He had an invisible knife too, that was kind of cool… and… oh yea, I got a new sling, you like it? I think it's beautiful" I said, lifting up my arm to show him. Clint had decided to colour in the white fabric, and it was now dotted with unicorns, butterflys, and rainbows. Very stylish.

"Yes Tony, I like your sling… why did you need a new one?" Bruce asked suddenly and I frowned, "Old one got… bloodified".

"Bloodified?" he asked and I nodded, "Means completely and utterly covered in blood. New word. I just made it up".

He sighed, frowning at me, "You seriously got to take better care of yourself".

"He didn't tell you the best part yet" Clint said smirking and Bruce turned to him, "What?".

"He, Mr. Stark, the amazing Iron Man, knocked out Loki with his own sceptre" he said happily and Bruce turned back to me, "… what?".

"I knocked out Loki. With a magical stick" I admitted grinning.

"You got to be kidding me… You shoot magic at him or something?".

I grinned even wider, "No, just used a very fancy, skilled way of knocking someone, or somegod, unconscious for a certain matter of time while other duties had to be preformed on said ones being or rather, one body".

He stared at me blankly and I sighed, "I hid him across the head with a stick".

"Got ya" he replied grinning, "Oh, and the other three will be up soon. Had to be debriefed by Fury on some battle or another".

"And ye two didn't?" I asked, looking between him and Barton.

"Well I have no idea what he's talking about" Clint said shrugging.

"And I was the other guy, so I can't remember a thing" Bruce finished, "Or so I tell them".

* * *

Another half hour later and everyone was crowed into the sitting room, laughing, talking, getting drunk… Ok, fine, I was the only one getting drunk. Even though I wasn't meant to touch alcohol for another while. Natasha snuck me glasses of vodka, and we told everyone else it was just water. I seriously had to thank her later.

* * *

"So… How are you?" Clint asked me quietly, sitting down next me and I gave a genuine smile, "Honestly? I'm pretty good".

And I was, I realised. I was no longer jumping at every little movement. I was no longer waiting for a crazed God to come back. I was no longer fucked up in the head.

But most importantly of all, I was no longer just Tied Together With A Smile.

* * *

**IM FINSIHED!**

_**Sorry bout the ending, I hope its alright :)**_

_**But now iv got more time to concentrate on the only other fanfic im writing, Broken Arrow, about Clint Barton forgetting his whole past**_

_**If you haven't read it yet, your either stupid, or live under a rock.**_

_**So PLEASE check it out!**_

_**As for now,**_

**Прощайте, мои** друзья, и берегите себя!

**Rachel :)**


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